I've been sick for the past week. I've felt like my head was going to explode. My chest has felt like someone who could play front line for a Pro-football team was sitting on it only after hitting it and knocking it to the floor... My back spasm'd with each and every cough. My throat was raw and eyes burning and dry. And except for the hands full of Advil, I'd have welcomed a bullet.
Amazingly, I have survived. I have lived through what I felt was surely the end but would wake from a short nap only to feel the cough rising, chest, head, throat, yep.... I'm still here.
The love of my life has cared enough about my health that he hasn't shown his face around here for more than to walk through the kitchen and go to bed. Lesson learned and note to self:
IF you have anything you need or illness or in my case surgery scheduled, DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT schedule it on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday or one or both days of the weekend. The bar nights fall Monday - Friday with Saturday and Sunday thrown in for good measure. Dare not interfere with socializing with everyone at the Bar.... who on earth do I think I am?
Surgery was scheduled for mid-April but the love of my life questioned the reasoning behind that. "Why not go ahead and get it over with? Why wait so long???" Well, let me see..... huummmm, why indeed. Could be because I will be taking care of myself because SURGERY WILL BE ON A FRIDAY! Which falls on BAR NIGHT DAY and is preceeded and followed by BAR NIGHT DAY! Which means I'll be home ALONE again. The absolutely only difference this time will be that the child who cared for me when I had my other two minor surgeries on BAR NIGHT DAY won't be here to bring me water and crackers.
I'll make sure to have my night stand stocked and my water on the table by the bed. How dare I disrupt BAR NIGHT DAY for the powers that be.... How dare I get sick! Who do I think I am?
WELL, I'M FREAKING INVISIBLE BECAUSE EVIDENTLY MY CLOAKING DEVICE IS WORKING! THAT'S WHO I AM ...... nobody ....... alone ......
Except, somewhere there is a small voice saying, "I'm here. Do you need anything? Here, Let Me touch your head. Does that feel better? Here you go, let Me hold your hand and let you feel My presence here beside you. I love you. You are going to be just fine. I love you very much."
It feels like someone is here but when I open my eyes, I am alone. But, there must be someone here because, I really heard someone talking to me and I know I heard someone say, "I love you." The cat isn't talking, I'm pretty sure anyway. There isn't anyone in the house except me, yet, I know someone has been taking care of me.
It is then, I realize, Someone has been taking care of me and while I yearn for those earthly arms to hold me and care for me and my ears and heart ache to hear sweet words of love and caring, I have been given care and love by The Most Loving and Caring of All . . . .
And while I may never feel nor hear what my flesh longs for, my spirit has been refreshed and my body will follow suit because I was special enough for my sweet God to take time to send love, care and comfort to me when I needed it most.
My cloaking device may be working and I may be invisible, but My God is ALWAYS WITH ME! NO MATTER WHAT......
Thank you for caring. I do feel better. I love you, too.
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