I believe God has our lives laid out like a jigsaw puzzle. He is the only one who sees the picture and He is the only one who hands out the pieces. Each morning he gives us a piece and how we receive it and place it is in our hands. Don't like the color? too bad. Don't like the shape? who cares. When the final piece is placed, we will see that the ugly colors were there only to embolden the one's we liked and loved. With that in mind, I'm wondering just where on earth the piece I was handed Friday, lives and works???
Standing at the check-in counter we're told he is 4 minutes into the 25 minute cut off and is too late to check in and will have to wait for the next flight out at noon. FOUR MINUTES! The question of "If The President was here FOUR MINUTES LATE would you rush to place his bag on the jet and let him board?" wasn't met with understanding. As a matter of fact, immediately, an armed policeman was standing at the side of the counter. Good thing I had those 4 or 5 years in reserve because I needed them and the face lift, dropped. I also found out that the ticket agent had absolutely no compassion, nor sense of humor.....
FINE! THANK YOU AMERICAN AIRLINES! We left the airport after checking his bag so it would be ready for the next flight. Ran a couple of errands. Stopped at Starbucks and then back to the airport. He wanted a haircut but didn't dare chance being late for the noon flight.
He arrived. Bag already checked, we went on the the security point. Talked for about 15 minutes and said our goodbyes. He would reach his duty station and a week later deploy for Iraq. This was a very heartfelt, see you later, take care, God goes before you, you still have His favor, good-bye. I stood, strong as any mother could be, watching her son clear security and walk back to wait for boarding.
I watched out the window, lost in thought, then noticed, THERE IS NO JET. THERE ISN'T ANYTHING TO BOARD. The noon flight is due to leave in 20 minutes and THERE AIN'T NOTHIN' TO BOARD. . . . Sure enough, the flight board shows the flight is cancelled. WHY? well, we just didn't have enough ticket sales to pay for the flight. I literally RAN to the front counter only to find the same lovely clerk on duty. He was happy to see me, too! I must have made an impression on the dear man because I didn't even make it all the way to the counter before he stepped up to his computer and was saying to me, "We wondered where he was. We just put his tickets back in the drawer. His flight has been cancelled but he will leave at 1:15 arriving DFW at 2:10 and connecting to the same Philly flight at 4:10. Here are his updated tickets." He then handed me a pass to get the tickets to the "loading zone" through security.
When my son saw me, his surprised look betrayed his joy in seeing me. I told him that since he had missed the first flight and the second flight was cancelled, I wanted to make sure he made it all the way to base so I was going with him. He turned pale. Very pale. Then quickly, but not quick enough, covered his shock with, "Really?! well, great. good. wow. really?" Kodak moment passed and my camera stuck in my purse.
His original flight would have deposited him on base by 5:00 p.m. Friday evening. The flights that actually made it into the air placed him inside the gate after midnight. His 4:00 flight from DFW had mechanical problems and he finally made it out by 7 p.m. Friday night.
I found myself around 11:30 p.m. sitting and waiting for the phone to ring letting me know my Soldier had arrived on base. I sat with a knot in my gut, lump in my throat and tight feeling in my chest. Why? Because I was carrying the guilt of not getting him to his morning destination on time. Because I didn't insist he be ready the night before, because I didn't insist he stay home instead of visiting friends his last night in town. Because I didn't take charge, he was late and missed his flight and had a day of delays, cancellations and long flights putting him on base after his cut off time. All was well with him, as he had contact with his superiors and they understood the airline industry.
WHY WAS I CARRYING THIS LOAD? That is the puzzle piece I don't want to handle. I carry it all of the time. It is my fault. HOW? WHY? Truth is, it isn't my fault. Truth is, no one hands it to me, I reach out and take it on my own. This is of my own doing. This is a lesson in life I need to learn and it is a hard one. Until we learn our lessons, we are doomed to repeat them. God allows, maybe even demands, retakes. He wants us to learn. He wants us to be as close to Him as possible and we can't do that if we don't have the faith to trust Him to hand us the correct piece and then help us place it. AND if we carry loads He didn't hand us, how can we place our piece?
Today, I want to carry only that which He hands me, because I know if He hands it to me, it's a load I can lift, a piece I can place.
Thank you "Daddy" for being here for me, letting me see how much You love me and when the sun came up this morning, giving me a glimpse of my picture.
